Anonymous asked: Hi Charisse!! This is Jemiah, hope you remember! How’s things?? Thought I might find you here and I did!! Are you still in Italy?? I live in Europe now!
Jem! I’m doing good :) Where in Europe are you? I live in Germany :)
May 11-12, 2017
Rothenburg ob der Tauber
Rothenburg has always been on my bucket list of places to visit because I just love medieval towns. We’ve been lucky during our road trips because the weather played well and there’s not a lot of tourists yet.
Despite Airbnb being much cheaper than hotels (for the most part), Bryan and I decided we wanted to have an authentic medieval experience. We stayed in an old hotel overnight – with exposed wooden beams, antique furniture draped beds and even an array of taxidermy wall mounts in the small, cramped reception area.
We spent the entire day walking around, taking pictures, looking at souvenirs for Bryan’s family. Our backup plan is to head to Frankfurt to get Black Forest cuckoo clock, dropping by other cities on our way. When I found out that there are cuckoo clocks in Rothenburg too, our plan was set in stone. He ended up not buying any though, because it was fucking expensive.
We spent a decent amount of time in the armory store where I got lost in the vast array of swords and daggers and katanas and medieval clothes and armor I secretly touched. Bryan got me a leather notebook with a leather feather pen because I’m too spoiled. He got himself a dagger for fun 🗡
We also planned on dining in the oldest tavern in the town: Zur Höll. It was great that I called them up for a reservation because the place is small and most tables are already occupied. I haven’t had other decent German food than Berliner Currywursts!
We wanted to do the Huntsman walking tour but I didn’t want to walk around when it was starting to drizzle a little. We decided to walk around that night though, just admiring the town in the darkness that’s illuminated by old street lights. We found a tavern around 11 and got some drinks.
The next morning, I woke up early because I wanted to walk by the town walls before we leave. Being in Rothenburg reminded me of my stories whose setting is always in the middle ages and it made me feel like I’m living in those stories.
Money vs. Experience
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to myself that one of these days I’ll go out of town and explore. But I always end up not going. Why? Because I didn’t want to spend my hard-earned money.
I’ve always wanted to explore, take pictures of places that I’ve been, write about the experience and have memories and stories to tell, but instead I’m home almost every weekend, working on projects I don’t have time to work on during the weekdays, constantly looking out through the window wondering where I would have gone if I do decided to go out. The following week goes by and then I would think about going out of town again, which would, of course, not happen.
They said money can’t buy happiness. But for me, having money in the bank gives me security. I’m not in a tight spot and I think I’m earning decently for someone who had no experience or degree in the career I am in. But I’m also afraid of those numbers going down. I set up a budget for most of the things I have to spend for and constantly keep track of them, hoping I can spend less than I did the month before. And for those occasional things – getting a book or new clothes – I often delay buying them until I can say that I really do want / need it.
I fear for not having enough money in the future but at the same time, I would look back and wish I did what I could have done. The more I spend my time locked up in my room, thinking, the more I crave experiencing new things; the more I wish I’m outside. I have the greatest pleasure of having freedom but i don’t feel free. Travelling doesn’t have to be expensive nor would I spend all my money for it, but it definitely holds me back.
Afterwork drinks to bid farewell to a coworker moving to Canada :)
I had a weird dream where I went to visit my mom. But we weren’t in our house. It was a mixture of my grandmother’s house and areas of our old place. I saw my little sister and my dog. My dog has gotten thin, but he recognizes me. And then I realized I was leaving the same day. My mom tried to delay my leave and I got slightly annoyed because I’ll miss my flight. I remember looking at the clock and knew there’s no way I’ll get to the airport in time. I said goodbye to my dog, told him I’ll come back. I arrived at the airport, but my plane already left. Then I woke up.
—
These past few days I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’m feeling empty, exhausted, sad. I usually say I don’t know why, but maybe deep inside I do.
Mango
Broccoli and other vegetables are usually wrapped in plastic in the supermarket so I went out to the farmer’s market literally across the street to check if they have what I need (They close early, so whenever I need to shop for groceries after work, they’re already closed). I asked them if they speak English – and they do, just enough that we can understand each other – and then they showed me where the vegetables are.
When I got what I needed, one of the guys managing the stall took out a small container filled with sliced mangoes. He literally just said, ‘Mango’ and handed a slice to me. I thanked him, walked away and ate it.
It was a damn delicious mango.
Aside from food scraps and that sanitary product for females, paper tops the amount of trash that I’ve produced this week. This mostly includes the papers I’ve been keeping for the past few months (which includes that boarding pass), mail and train tickets for the entire week and toilet paper. The only plastic I have to throw away this week is a pack for 1kg of rice. That’s it.
This is progress.
I’ve been carrying a small tupperware with me and bringing it to the store to get sandwiches for lunch, refusing vegetables that are packaged even though I needed a particular ingredient for a recipe I want to cook (I just omit or use an alternative), buying my chocolate milk in bottles I have to return or buying stuff that are bottled.
The plan today is to go to OU, get unpackaged body soap (cheaper than LUSH), try out the toothpaste tablets(?), maybe cereal and unpackaged pasta. I have yet to validate the monetary difference between unpackaged shopping from the usual shopping packaged goods, but I’ll share that next time :)
Went to the park to enjoy the snow. It was fun to watch people slide down the hilly park with their sleds.
Made the most of my 6 hour stop in Düsseldorf
I only really got to see Königsallee because it was nearest to the airport and it turned out to be nothing really special (at least for a person who doesn’t like buying expensive stuff) than a long street filled with expensive stores. I don’t know why I expected so much. But I’m glad that there’s a park right next to it which I genuinely enjoyed more. There were so many birds just chillin’ and the people just leave them be and its so nice to be up close to them. There should be harmony like this everywhere.
I also had Vietnamese rice noodle salad for lunch which I haven’t had in a long time. Wasn’t as good as the ones I’ve had here in Berlin though.
Feels good to be back :)
Welcome 2017
I’m usually not the person who makes New Year’s Resolutions but I’ve read some goal-related posts here and there and it made me realise that I have personal things that I want to achieve as well.
Of course, things will change, shit happens, etc etc so I just want to set some goals for the first quarter of the year and then figure out the rest as time goes on. This will keep me from being overwhelmed and stop me from doing everything all at once. And if there’s one thing I can take away from working on a performance management tool, it is to break everything into smaller chunks. The smaller they are, the easier they are to achieve and the more you’ll feel like you’re progressing. Works like a boss.
So here goes:
Probably my priority for the first quarter is to get better at my job. I don’t know, it’s like until I get past my probation period I will be standing on the edge of a cliff not knowing if I’ll fall back down to the beginning or if I get to climb higher. Plus, the more I learn / the more I know, the easier it’ll probably be to find another job, right? Bryan always tells me to do my best but expect the worst (or something along those lines).
Rough breakdown:
- Complete Javascript30 challenge
- Take 1 online course about algorithms - Never thought I’d do this because math used to make me cry. But it’s time to step up! I found a 6-course specialization but I’ll only take one for now to get the ball rolling.
- Read 2 books: 1 design-related, 1 technical-related
Take Zero Waste and Minimalism to the next level. It’s very obvious that living with less waste and minimalism are strongly tied together. During the last quarter of last year, I started listening to minimalism / slow living podcasts and when I came home to Italy, I got the Zero Waste Home book from my sister. In other words, I need to start doing the new things I learned (depending on what I can do, of course).
Rough breakdown:
- Spread the knowledge - trying to save the Earth by making less trash by myself is not enough. People need to know. People need to be aware. We all must take part. Maybe I’ll start on this blog.
- Try out 10 new recipes - I admit that smoothies with leafy vegetables sounds disgusting to me. But maybe it’s not. Maybe its just all in my head. I want to explore the food universe more in a healthy and less-trash way. Also because I’m getting tired of cooking the same shit.
- Give away / sell things I don’t need / use anymore - I know getting rid of some things will make trash and that’s unavoidable. But what I want to achieve here is to live with less stuff. I only want to have things that are genuinely important to me. I already started digging through the stuff I left behind when I moved out and I would try to give them away before I go back to Berlin.
There are some other things I want to achieve like moving closer to the city (because 1.5 hours of travel from and to work everyday is overkill) and finally taking my german course and making friends outside work – but those are tiny things that will happen when they happen.
Androids
In the dream, I was an android. I was on a mission. I was in a hotel with 2 dudes – one was the guy who killed a woman on the rooftop on mr. Robot, the other a tall guy with short black hair. I don’t remember his face.
In the dream, people can’t seem to tell the difference who is an android and who isn’t. We walked to the hotel suite, it was big with an Asian touch, complete with a living room and a bedroom for mr. Robot guy. He’s the boss after all. I sleep in the extra room, the other guy just sleeps on the couch.
Then the dream shifted and I was taken to a conference-like room. Lots of people. I stand by mr. Robot dude, as if I was there to protect him and be like his date or something. Then the dream shifted again, this time I was in some sort of a backstage. There were black curtains and there’s an oblong table with chairs and papers. A side of the curtain was parted on the far right side and I could see stage lights.
Next thing I remember was that I’m talking to another man in suit. Can’t remember his face but he knows me and knows I’m an android(?). He used a taser-like device on me and I was left wiggling on the ground as if my mechanical body was breaking down.
Moments later, people came to the room and sat around the table. Mr. Robot guy sat near me but didn’t paid much attention to me lying on the ground. Then they started a discussion and a woman noticed me.
She had long brown hair. She was wearing formal clothes just like everyone else sitting in the room. She knows me and she was an android too. She was horrified seeing me on the ground – enough to stop the meeting they were having. She lifted me up and took me out of the place.
Then everything shifted again and now I’m just a soul watching and following the others. The android me was taken to a ‘hospital’ and the hotel was locked down for investigation. I remember the 2 men with me fought for what happened and seem to care a lot about my android self. It’s like there was a love triangle going on(?).
Then I was transported to the outside. There were lots of cars and trees lined the middle of the road. There was a church dome and other smaller building seen from afar. My soulless self was lost and had no idea how to go to the hospital to find my body. Then a blonde kid with a backpack walked by me and could see me. He was going to ride a bus. I asked him where the hospital is and he pointed to the far distance – Northeast – but didn’t say a word. Then I woke up.
See you later, Berlin!
5 am dream
I dream about my grandmother’s house more often than any other place.
In the dream, the house was a bit bigger more fancier and some things were made of gold. There was a boy with his strange parents I was watching tv with. I remember there they had a dog that I wanted to pet. I remember feeling annoyed at these strangers that I decided to leave. For some reason I wanted to climb. My grandmother’s house had barred windows so I climbed that and I remember feeling like I used to be able to climb it but now I couldn’t, so I was just there halfway through the top.
Then I was transported to another place – a castle-like room with more golden columns. There was sunlight on the floor and I saw myself with the boy and the boy’s mother. The boy said he has chosen me and then the mother got furious(?). A maid came over, stripped my clothes off and the dragged me somewhere else. They brought in other girls with fancier dresses / hair, but the boy said no to all of them.
Then we were back in my grandmother’s house and I was wearing normal clothes again. I decided to wash my face, frustrated because I couldn’t climb. So my face was wet then I had to go back to where the boy was because my towel was on the couch. He handed me over the towel.
Before the dream ended, I remember the boy chasing me. He was a vampire(?). We were back in the palace(?). I ran to a dead end and I remember taking a chair to block him. Then I remember taking a piece of strange fruit then tossing it to his mouth. It was a tomato-looking fruit and it made him stop. Then I saw a guy wearing Renaissance clothes with all the ruffles on the chest part. He had curly pale hair. He was holding the boy in his arms and was yelling at me. The boy wasn’t dead but got addicted to the fruit.